SO, as is usual in life, seems like the thing to do is be your own best pal and self promote even if you don't like it.
Here are the ways I can tolerate doing so and why! First is Twitter:

I try to follow good twitterquette and post no more than 5 times an hours, or 20 times a day. but when I RT (retweet) I do not count those. I love to take a quick peek at twitter (by use of tweetdeck which I recommend) and see what the world is up to.
When I self promote on twitter I try to also be sure I am tweeting neat info too -- like one of my personal favs is to find funny Steven Wright quotes to share.
Next, I love ETSY chat. It is generally a supportive nice spot where people share what they like of yours. This helps me see what is popular, can give some quick feedback (if I ask things like -- do you think that would look good in green? for example). And sellers and chatters are overwhelmingly kind and funny. I find I get hearted by fellow chatters and then can find their shop to buy from later as several images that float by in chat stick in my brain and I go back to buy!! So, chat and favorite sellers and items in ETSY is very helpful for getting my items noticed.
My third good idea of today is an ebay observation. I think the reason I have done the best on Ebay is the way I title my items. This is so important and although I love to make puns and post funny names I am sure to fit in Gwysntone which is my brand, even if I cant also fit the "originals" in there. Also a word or two that I think people would search for that would like that item. for me it is easy as a lot of my items are animal themed. Of course this is a great idea for tagging and such too, but on ebay it is to me the main reason I get sales. thsimake me especially mad then when I see a typo I have made that to me means I have lost a chance to be searched!
So - advice form me for what it is worth: Twitter (carefully), Chat (kindly), and watch those titles!